Karezza is not normal sex without orgasm

 Karezza is a gentle, affectionate form of intercourse in which orgasm is not the goal, and ideally does not occur in either partner while making love.

During a lengthy period of perfect control, the whole being of each is merged into the other, and an exquisite exaltation experienced. This may be accompanied by a quiet motion, entirely under subordination of the will, so that the thrill of passion for either may not go beyond a pleasurable exchange. Stockham

Our emphasis is on affection, and we stay well away from the edge of orgasm. If we sense ourselves slipping into performance mode while making love, we pull ourselves back into relaxation with deeper, longer breaths. This relaxes our abdominal breathing and reverses the increase in muscular tension and the urge to restrict breathing that coincide with the buildup to orgasm.

Regular, “heat ‘em up” foreplay doesn’t work very well with Karezza

Typical foreplay is geared toward heating yourself and your partner up with orgasm as the goal. The pleasures of Karezza, however, do not rely on the rewards that come from approaching one’s own orgasm or inducing it in a lover. They depend on the rewarding feelings that come from mutual adoration and generous touch (bonding behaviors). Initially Karezza therefore feels all wrong. It seems too non-goal-oriented and relaxed. When I first explained it to my husband, he couldn’t believe his ears: “A woman who is asking me to do less?”

So, without standard foreplay, what do we do when we get in bed with each other?

It worked best to begin intercourse in a position that did not allow for much movement. Even so, it was extremely easy to escalate into good old, familiar sex as we added intercourse to our nightly affection. One strategy my husband and I now use is to make sure we put “snuggle nights” in between “intercourse nights.” Snuggle nights are useful refresher courses for our nervous systems. Even a little bit of cuddling offers a taste of relaxed satisfaction with no goal whatsoever. When we next have intercourse it is easier to stay in the tranquil mindset ideal for Karezza.

As far as actual intercourse goes, we move far more slowly than we did during conventional sex. In addition, we fall into total stillness frequently while making love. Some of the most gratifying and profound experiences occur when not moving. As a result, our lovemaking goes in waves, somewhat like breathing. Erections also come and go—and arise again when we start kissing after a pause. (Visit Karezza Korner for comments by other couples about their experiences.)It worked best to begin intercourse in a position that did not allow for much movement. Even so, it was extremely easy to escalate into good old, familiar sex as we added intercourse to our nightly affection. One strategy my husband and I now use is to make sure we put “snuggle nights” in between “intercourse nights.” Snuggle nights are useful refresher courses for our nervous systems. Even a little bit of cuddling offers a taste of relaxed satisfaction with no goal whatsoever. When we next have intercourse it is easier to stay in the tranquil mindset ideal for Karezza.

We kiss and gaze into each other’s eyes a lot. We also let each other know how loved we feel with wordless sounds of pleasure and reverent, or playful, touch—depending upon our mood. Sometimes we make a conscious effort to diffuse the sexual energy from our genitals throughout our bodies by tightening the muscles of our pelvic floor and breathing the energy up. Sometimes when we close our eyes we notice flashing lights in the third-eye region of the forehead. Sometimes we use the technique of completely relaxing our pelvic muscles, as advised by Michael and Diana Richardson.

We make love in very comfortable positions, where our weight is supported with a minimum of tension. Side-lying position, with my legs wrapped around him, is a favorite. We also sometimes fall asleep connected, which makes waking up especially enjoyable. Because we never “finish,” we’ve noticed that a flirty energy continues to flow outside the bedroom.

With Karezza you ease your sexual tension without resorting to orgasm. Dr. Lloyd wrote that Karezza leads to complete dissipation of congestion, complete discharge of nervous surplus, complete relief from sexual tension, and more complete satisfaction than orgasm.

Using Karezza’s gentle intercourse, we discovered that we can make love for as long as we need to until any sexual tension melts away entirely—as long as we don’t fall back into hungry behavior, or begin fighting ourselves by going close to the edge of orgasm. During lovemaking, the emphasis is on stillness and heart-centered feelings. If the energy begins to build into goal-oriented sensations, we simply relax back into stillness.

The feelings during these quiet periods can be especially profound, as if we have entered a timeless cocoon of delighted contentment.

I experience what I think of as a “soul orgasm.” It isn’t connected to reproductive sex in any way. It can be produced even without sex, although sex is a great way to produce it. As we gently make love, I imagine us both in a glowing ball of light. I feel as if our spirits have merged. For hours after this kind of sex session, if I think of my wife, the feeling of deep love refills me, just as if I were back in bed having sex. —Todd

Flirting with “the edge” can increase frustration, even if no one climaxes. Frustration equates with high dopamine, and when dopamine goes too high it can lead to tension, resentment, and subsequent cravings. Going too close to orgasm can also build congestion in the genitals, which may cause sharp pains.

I just couldn’t believe how effortless Karezza was. This man described it perfectly:

For a long time I’d been doing Taoist-style sex with my wife with good results—using exercises, lovemaking techniques, and energy visualizations. However, I decided to set it aside temporarily to learn more about Karezza. The first thing I noticed was that Karezza got the same results as my old Taoist practices. But Karezza required no specialized energy work. All I did was to remain nearly still while engaged in sex and breathed slow, deep breaths. I did nothing else. Anyone could do Karezza.

I soon started to sense another feeling that I didn’t recognize—a deep, satisfying feeling. I guess it was the oxytocin, the cuddle hormone. It feels like peace and love all mixed up together—a sensation of being in love with life. —Larry

Karezza works because bonding behaviors work. In fact, Karezza is itself a delicious, intimate, soothing bonding behavior. There is nothing mysterious about this, even though its effectiveness in relieving sexual tension may strike you as remarkable after you master it.

There was a warm glow in the area between our navels and pubic hairline that just demanded that we lie there together motionless to feel the gentle warmth it was radiating. This went on for twenty to thirty “timeless” minutes. Then slowly we inched toward nuzzling in the genital area. Very slowly we got to having intercourse sideways and it was amazing—lots of wetness to make it easy, and lots of control so no frenzy by either. We were both amazed and so loving in the stillness. It is a truly incredible experience. R. is delighted and feels so pleased that he didn’t feel the need to come, which has been a big concern for him. It was such a powerful, loving experience. —Gina

Sometimes Karezza is just pleasant, gentle intercourse that leaves us refreshed and more balanced. Sometimes it’s an amazing, heart-opening experience for which we can hardly find words. The outcome is not in our control. All we can do is keep our biologically driven habits out of the way, and enjoy what bubbles up. Striving is counterproductive. We focus on comforting each other, not fanning sexual hunger.Karezza’s effects are subtle and cumulative

Karezza can be a bit like watching paint dry at first—albeit with the added joys of a companion and an increasing sense of well-being. It does not produce rapid, obvious results (as, for example, a new foreplay technique might). Instead its effects are cumulative. We needed several weeks of pleasant, but patient, consistency to see why we had made the effort to try it. During that time, we experienced a growing sense of empowerment, optimism, and connectedness with others. We felt as if we were “in the flow.” Yet these changes seemed so natural (and well-deserved), that it was easy to miss the link between cause and effect.

The Karezza way doesn't require climax by either man or woman, since it emphasizes intimacy, harmony, and unity. It also takes a lot of practice to make it work right, and the couple wishing to practice Karezza should be patient. It takes time to harmonize energy fields, emotions, rhythms, and responses between two persons. Expect to practice at least a dozen times before you begin to see increasingly delightful results. —Bernard Jensen, MD

Karezza is a return to equilibrium. The energy it produces is not “edgy,” but rather lighthearted. With or without clothes, it feels more like two dolphins frolicking. We tend to laugh a lot, to find just the right times to make love, and to enjoy hugging or touching each other at other times.

You need to try Karezza for at least three weeks to be in a position to compare the benefits with conventional sex. Otherwise you may not taste what life is like beyond the ups and downs of the post-orgasmic passion cycle.

We often learn the most about Karezza from our inadvertent departures from it. We never “go for” orgasm, but it happens occasionally. It’s the perfect reminder of why we stick with this practice. During the two weeks after an orgasm, we notice a temporary dimming of good feelings, and we are always delighted when, like clockwork, we come back into sync at the end of the cycle.

You may believe that you will feel more frustrated the longer you avoid orgasm. Yet if you experiment carefully with Karezza, using lots of relaxation and generous affection, you are likely to find that this is not true.

I have experienced great feelings of well-being after non-orgasmic sex over long periods of time. The contact with the person becomes the orgasm, the sexual contact becomes the orgasm, and then there is no need for orgasm. —Mike

In our experience, there was surprisingly little inner conflict while learning Karezza, as long we took a gradual approach and remembered to wallow luxuriantly in the soothing pleasures of touch and connection. As Karezza lovers we grow more balanced and therefore more sensitive to every pleasurable nuance. Certainly, we have done a lot more giggling and enjoyed a lot more harmony.

Above all, Karezza teaches us to put each other first. See Karezza FAQs or visit Karezza Recent Posts. You can also learn more about Karezza from these two free books by A. B. Stockham, MD and J. W. Lloyd, MD. Also see Bernard Jensen MD’s suggestions for Karezza lovemaking, and this interview with Stanley Bass about his book: Energy Karezza.

I found this article I think describes karezza well: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/karezza-method

Cervix orgasm

Excerpts from different pages found on the internet about cervical orgasm and some thoughts from me:

Cervical Orgasm – This is the most beneficial orgasm according to the Tantric tradition, also called cervico-uterine orgasm. Contractions of the deep vaginal muscles and uterus, while the pc muscle might stay relaxed; The orgasm will feel deeper, more full and intense and yet more “round” than the g-spot orgasm, and will be accompanied by strong emotions, love, unity, ecstasy and transcendence, tears, crying and a feeling of deep satisfaction; The experience of pleasure is deep and profound, but in the same time, the cervical orgasm is experienced and appreciated as an experience which is beyond bodily pleasure, and is sometimes felt beyond the physical body; The cervical orgasm is naturally subliming and lifting the sexual energy towards the higher chakras Stimulation of the areas near the cervix will cause similar kinds of orgasm. These areas include the posterior fornix, which is located under the cervix, along the wall of the vagina which is next to the anus, and the anterior fornix (AF or AFE) or the A-Spot, which is located on the upper wall of the vagina, between the cervix and the g-spot.

Cervical orgasm involves a lot of warm up with the cervix often feeling overly sensitive or painful on first touch. Cervical orgasms feel more powerful and consuming, spreading deeper through the body. 

They are reported as feeling like a vibration or tingle which emanates through the entire body, providing an intense climax which lasts a lot longer than G-spot or clitoral orgasms.

In reflexology, the cervix is the point of the heart and as such, it’s believed that these orgasms encourage feelings of love and deeper connection. Because of this, reflexology practitioners believe that you’re more likely to achieve cervical orgasm with a partner that you feel close and relaxed with or alone in a safe, tranquil environment.

Some professional sex therapists who have a holistic approach on sex and pleasure even claim that those who are able to achieve the cervical orgasm have just reached a new state of spiritual transcendence—this intense feeling of pleasure is unparalleled and it can generate very intense love feelings. The pleasure goes far beyond the physical satisfaction.

Achieving a cervical orgasm requires a strong dose of mindfulness, so if you want to make one happen for you, consider taking up a regular meditation practice. The thing is, cervical orgasms are complicated: They may be more of a combination of stimulation than just the cervix alone. After all, you can access areas around your cervix with deep penetration, and the cervix can aid in stimulating those areas. You’ve heard about a full-body orgasm. That’s how a cervical orgasm feels. And what an experience it is: Cervical orgasms flood your body with healing, feel-good chemicals that lower stress hormones and leave you feeling amazing. Many women say to achieve them, you must be absolutely centered on your pelvis. If you want cervical orgasms, mindfulness matters!

Your cervix can be tender if you hit it too hard, so take it slowly. And keep in mind that deeper penetration isn’t just a physical act for women. Our minds and our emotions are also heavily involved, so don’t be surprised if you have feelings that get stirred up or you have significant life realizations along the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=95&v=DSfJ3VGgvXk

Deep thrusts that are angled toward the back end side of your vagina will create the intensity and intimacy that you crave.

Stimulating the cervix can cause very intense feelings of love with your partner and spiritual transcendence.

If you are feeling open emotionally and open to yourself and your partner you are more likely to experience it. However, it’s not likely to occur during casual sex or if you don’t feel very open, safe and relaxed with your partner.

My final thoughts: I agree to most of what is said here, but when it says intense, I don't experience it physically intense like a peak orgasm, but emotionally intense! I will also add that it seems to be important that the penis is shaped in a certain way. When I see a penis that has a thin tip I think: Good for anal. When it has a thick tip: Good for vaginal (with the hope of cervix orgasm). Needless to say, if the penis isn't reaching the cervix well enough (a slight touch won't do) there is no chance she will have such an orgasm. The angle the penis hits the cervix is of importance. He can try to reach it by penetrating her in front, half way on the side. She will probably adjust her body so it hits her cervix perfectly.

I have only experienced this orgasm with a few people and these had some things in common: They could last long without coming (had good self control and was present), they were not far from the point of no return most of the time we had intercourse, they had a large penis, the chemistry was good, they were spiritual and I felt completely safe with them so to surrender was not hard at all.

For her to be able to experience this orgasm she should sacrifice peak orgasms for a long time. If she has had many peak orgasms her cervix has probably become tight and stiff. This can be fixed by avoiding peak orgasms and by massaging the cervix untill it is soft. This can be done by squeezing the cervix with two fingers from each side untill it no longer hurts and then with a penis or fingers straight on.

This is a great article on the topic: https://mytinysecrets.com/awaken-your-body-to-magical-cervical-orgasms/

Also this one:https://beducated.com/mag/cervical-orgasm/

When I have had a cervix orgasm I have already had intercourse untill the point where love is produced inside of me. A while after that happens I lose contact with the feeling of his penis inside my vagina and float beyond my body as my consciousness expands. When I reach the orgasm I have reached heaven and connect with the divine. I speak in tounges when I am connected to the divine energies. (The man should just keep on thrusting at this point untill she communicates to him that he can slow down. He should not worry that something is wrong, even though she may sound strange. Sometimes women cries when they have an orgasm because it is an emotional release too. This is a good thing. After the orgasm he may hold her in his arms. Never try to stop her from expresssing herself. After a full cervix orgasm I feel intense happiness.