Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Why not sex before marriage?

Don't have sex before marriage, the religious say, but what is marriage? Is it having a ring on the finger and a paper saying they are? Are a couple who no longer are connected by love more married than two who are, but have no ring or paper? Did God say they have to have a ring and paper? Isn't marriage the union between a man and a woman who believes they will love each other forever?

When God says no sex before marriage he has boys who take advantage of girls in mind. He wants to prevent suffering for the girls and for the kids that may come as a result of the boys selfish release of sperm cells in her and unwillingness to take responsibility for the consequences (child).

It was never the girl who were in love and got weak for the boys' attempt to have sex with her who should be ashamed of committing a "sin". She never sinned. It was him who played her who did. If there is no player, but two in love, how can the sex they have be a sin? How is that act harmful to anyone? How can something done in love be a sin?

Friday, December 10, 2021

Quotes from the book 50 misconceptions of sex: A modern tantric practice.

Peak orgasm can also be called spasm orgasm. Giving up clitoral orgasm for a year or so will give the brain time to re-map itself to be able to orgasm on other nerves than the pudendal nerve, like the vagus, hypogastric and pelvic nerve.


If you look at the animal world the animals stimulates themselves sexually, but they dont do it until they climax. Why not? Scientists found that for humans and animals the greatest reward for sex is the high arousal state during the act, not the orgasm. 

Low testosterone is a common cause of depression in men. Frequent orgasms lowered androgyn receptors ( that utilize free testosterone) in the brain in rats.

If it is approximately less than 10 days since the man ejaculated it is hard for him to control himself from not ejaculating when the woman surrender sexually. It will be easier to not go over the edge if it is longer than 2 weeks since the last ejaculation.

High intensity stimulation desensitizes your genitals, so avoid that. 

There is medical evidence that one can achieve anal orgasm through the pelvic floor nerve.

One can de-armour the vagina by pressing hard on areas that feels hard. Afterwards one can de-armour the cervix by squeezing it with two fingers for several minutes. First the pain may be knife-like, but continue until there is no more pain, but rather pleasure. 

If the woman regularly can achieve the womb orgasm she can have a pain free childbirth.

How to stimulate the g-spot: Use only the middle finger first in gentle circular motion against the ridges of the g-spot.

Women generally only needs to de-armour their vagina one time, but de-armour their cervix from time to time. The first time should be done as described above, but after that one can use the penis to press where it hurts for a minute or so until it doesn't hurt anymore. Use the missionary position with her hips high. When there is only slight discomfort then slow rhythmic bumps towards the cervix may overwhelm the discomfort with pleasure. To release the pain its important that the woman feels weak and vulnerable and express the pain through the mouth. (Think of a cry for mum). Deep vulnerability can release layers of blockages within a few minutes. After the pain on the surface is gone you need to remove the stiffness that sits deeper in the tissue by doing the same, but when she has her ankles on your shoulders so you will hit the opening of the cervix.

The womb orgasm are more intense and longer than the clit, the g-spot and the cervical orgasm.
For her to experience it she must first de-armour the cervix, the man must de-armour his penis and anus. He must also activate his spine sexually.

With the right touch women can experience subtle orgasms via the vagus nerve that men can not.

Thursday, December 9, 2021

What women long for in bed.

This is answers I found in a Facebook group:

Foreplay! Lots and lots of foreplay! Like 45 min of forplay (I like the really long satisfying sex). Explore every inch of her body. tease and tantalize her till she can't think straight and is begging for you and then keep going! Explore how erotic it can be by just breathing a certain way into her ear, how arousing it is to touch places that are nowhere near hey breasts and groin, play with feather light to very firm touch, hot and cold. When you go down on her let it last longer than a meager 3 min (I know your tongue gets tired but how do you think our jaw feels when we go down on you? But we stick it out. Usually) worship her body in such a way that she FEELS like you are worshipping every inch of her. Know when to go hard and fast and know when to go agonizingly slow. If you do it right she will be putty in your hands. Legit one time my man got me going so good with foreplay, getting me so wound up without release, that I came after one thrust! And it was so explosive and amazing you can't begin to imagine. And after we were done (a long while after that first orgasm) I was so satisfied I could barely move. Really guys just take the time. Don't worry about orgasms just focus on her responses and how things make her feel. And don't be afraid to experiment! A blindfold will greatly increase sensations from touch and anticipation. An icecube in your mouth before licking her anywhere will give a wonderful cold-to-hot sensation! Just take the time, experiment, have fun watching her squirm, and just make her feel adored!

I enjoy being held, like REALLY held... to feel SAFE in his arms opens me up for everything.

The important thing for me is to feel safe and wanted. Be open to discover, explore, and discuss all the fantasies without judgement. Empower me to empower you.

Foreplay involves both my mind and body. Communication, vulnerability, trust, touch.


1 is being recognized as a divine goddess... to feel worshipped, to have his full focus and communication. I love to feel a man turned on by me, and the reciprocation that happens when we are turned on by each other's turn on... mmmm
2 is SLOW DOWN AND TOUCH EVERYWHERE... far too often it's jump straight to the most sacred spot and ignore the magic of touch all over the body. Use your breath, your fingertips, your nails, the palms of your hands. Rub your erection against me without penetrating. Wait for me to beg you to enter. The payoff is well worth it
#3 is, don't run away after you've cum! Those intimate moments after lovemaking and orgasm are so fruitful and delicious. Stay in that creative, comforting, juicy space for a bit of extra time. Soak up that juiciness.


Look at me, See me in my eyes as you please me, let me see you as I please you. Slow down and enjoy the process. Enter me slowly-know that I am taking you in to my Divine Feminine. To be wanted. To be adored and to know/feel that my pleasure is important as his own. To be reciprocated if he wants something. To be kissed, endlessly. To be so lost in the sensations that I can’t help but to not hold back. To be desired and appreciated and touched and kissed everywhere just like I want to touch and kiss everywhere. To connect.

Men's arousal starts in his cock and spreads outwards, women are the complete opposite. These are my desires: start with caressing, touching, exploring the extremeties, our breasts, our torsos, our legs, our bums... Lots of kissing too. Slow down and try to realize this is sex for us, not just penetration. Penetration for me only feels right if my entire body and heart are open and feel safe to surrender to my man. My very favorite treat is a sensual oil massage...*omg* Something I've noticed if I ask for some of these things from a partner is that it will feel like he's performing a chore. This completely shuts me off and sometimes it can feel like my heart is literally breaking. This is why I think it's so important that men try to enjoy and get pleasure from satisfying your woman. And because I care so much about my man's pleasure I will also say, we have so much pleasure to give as well. I love to worship my man's body but it can feel all wrong when I'm not feeling loved and worshiped in return.


A minute feels like a whole day in that slow slow foreverness of touching sooooo gently like fingertips on the caress...the almost not touching just barely barely.

To be teased, explored, touched, kissed all over, and seen before being entered.

A real and deep connection. Slow movements, intimacy, breathing together. I want to move, I don't want to be blocked by his body on me, I have to dance, to follow my own rithm. And sometimes I want to be held in his arms, feel surrounded by his presence. Also, I want to be fucked by his eyes even before I undress my body.

Friday, October 22, 2021

Excerpts from the book Sex perfection

Here is the link if you want to read it: https://synergyexplorers.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/SexPerfectionVonUrban.pdf

The importance of similar wave length, wave frequency and wave amplitude in the body rays of two persons is one of the main reasons for sympathy and attractions. The pleasant feeling which comes from holding hands indicates that these two persons are attuned to each other.


An emotional immature man will only increase his wife's frigidity.

No one can attain the goal of sexual perfection unless he possesses or aquires certain qualities of character. Chief among these are unselfishness, honesty, reliability, emotional maturity witch means the development from taking to giving.


In the life of a child, masturbation, playing with genitals, is an important factor in developing sexuality, for masturbation helps the child to transfer his sensations from the primary, lust-regions of the mouth and anus, normal to the baby, to the sex organs where they eventually will be needed.


Pampering and over-indulgence can also restrict sexual development. As Oswald Schwarz says: A man who's mother has kept him too long to her self never, or only with the greatest difficulty, finds his way to other women. An overly strong attachment to the parents -between the boy and his mother, and between the girl and her father (Oedipus complex) usually keeps the children from marrying when they mature.


The unconcious in the young man drives him in search of the unattainable mother ideal continual changes of sweet-hearts. Such a man is predestined to unfaithfulness. And if he marries, impotence is often the result. In his wife he unconsciously sees his mother, to whom he must not have incest-wishes, and therefore he is inhibited by an unconscious feeling of guilt. The woman he loves he cannot possess and the woman he possesses he cannot love. Such conflict of soul can drive a man back to childish sex activity, some kind of perversion.


A third factor damaging to the child's sexual evolution is beating. This appeared in a young woman whose marriage was very unhappy because, unconsciously she longed to get from her husband the same beatings she had received as a child from her governess. Because of her masochistic fixation she had nor matured efficiently to react to any other sexual stimulus. She therefore remained sexual frigid. (A masochist is a person who is a sadist against himself).


The child is afraid of the beatings; they thwart the development of his self-esteem; nevertheless they produce feelings of pleasure which remain in his unconscious. A child accustomed to being beaten will finally behave in such a way as to provoke beatings. It is the unconscious craving for relaxation of bodily tension. One form of relaxation can be produced by beating. Many couples who have fist fights with each other are often afterwards relaxed and happy.


Education through threats also gives poor results. His character is endangered; malice and low cunning are aroused, for a child yields to force most reluctantly.


She becomes disturbed, helpless, a true reflection of her home athmosphere.


Unloving parents prevent the child from liberating himself from narcissism, from his love to himself.


Again, I repeat parents make an irreparable mistake when they fail to guide their children in their sex cravings. Without such guidance children become the victims of neurosis, frivolity or masturbation. Unguided girls are so overwhelmed by sexual energy that, in selecting a marriage partner they make blind choices, disregarding the mental and physical fitness of their partner. What they thought was love they later discover to be mere sensuousness or a craving for adventure.


Woman's entire nature consists of sexuality, in the larger sense.


The means towards the improvement of modern marriages: Sex education of the right kind, early marriage and a better, a more cultivated home life.


To a boy about masturbation: If a jug has too much milk in it, it has to overflow. You are at a time in your life in which an abundance of such little germ cells is produced in your testicles. You do not need to force them out, they will discharge them-selves during the night while you are sleeping. And if you force them out too often, by what we call masturbation, you give these celles which build these germ cells no rest or leisure. You drive them to ceaseless work and so exhaust them. A boy can torture himself with too frequent masturbation. Every handling of the sex organ drives out, from every cell of the body, radiation which, if they cannot flow out from the body, only serve to tense it more and more. This tension produces fear. You feel if as you were in a prison. You become terrified, not knowing what happened to you. Masturbation relaxes only the sex organs, while it tenses him more in his whole body.


The sex hormones stimulates the production of sperm cells in the testicles. The tension in these organs, induced by the increase in the number of the sperm cells, is a further source of the desire in boys to get rid of this local pressure through the discharge of their semen. Sex hormones can also be produced prematurely. This may happen, for instance, from too vivid sensations, startling impressions and great excitement, such as dramatic scenes between parents or early sexual experience.


To get rid of the tension in the whole body, a child is driven, more or less unconsciously, to seek bodily contact with adults, mostly with one of the parents. The love of such a child is based on the need for bodily relaxation. An infant starts to cry and becomes restless untill the mother fondles him, where upon he immediately calms down. A little devil of a child will become obident and happy if the mother takes him to bed with her, or even strokes his hair and body softly, thus relieving him of tension.


Nevertheless, the local tension in the sexual region remains and are abated in one of two ways: Either self-induced friction of the child, or - according to the customs of certain primitive people -old women quietly lay their hands on the testicles of young boys and old men on the vulvas of little girls, holding them thus for some time.


Every irritation of the sex organ, whether direct or indirect, increases the tension in the body. Children can not diminish their bodily tension by masturbation, because the palms of their hands and their sex organs do not differ in the quality of their radiation.


Among the Melanesian Islanders a girl who has not learned to abandon her immature sensations in the clitoris in favor of the awakening, mature feeling in the vagina, would lose all hope of marrying, as she would be considered inferior.


The damage done by masturbation does not arise from the effect of such action on the sex organs of the child, but from fears implanted in him of its injurious consequenses. There are three objections to masturbation: Too much masturbation has a weakening effect, sometimes even an exhausting one. Secondly: it increase bodily tension. Thirdly: As long as a person masturbates his sex life remains egocentric, and he remains immature.


Just as a child has to learn to control his bodily functions during the first three years of his life, so, during puberty, must he try to control increasing pressure in the awakening sex organs. If they learn to control their sex impulses now they will have laid the groundwork for the mastery of the problem of self-control in all its phases throughout their life.


Experiments with a young couple in love:


During the course of these experiments, it was ascertained that if the couple did not lie naked for half an hour or longer, in close physical contact, kissing and caressing, but, instead starting intercourse immediately, the strange radiation did not radiate from the body of the girl; nor did sparks fly between the two lovers after when they stood near each other afterwards, even though the sex union lasted less than 27 minutes, which we had come to think was necessary to eliminate these phenomena.


Every intercourse lasting less than 27 minutes induced an urgent desire, in both, for a repetition of the sex act. But if this desire was fulfilled by another too-brief act, both became nervous and irritated. The tension in their bodies became stronger with each intercourse of brief duration. On the other hand, intercourse lasting half an hour or more was followed by an entire relaxation from nervous tension; and the desire to repeat the sex act did not renew itself for five or six days, sometimes not for a week, yet the couple's feeling of love towards each other increased and they were extremely happy.


Their feelings of relaxation and happiness set in, even after a short intercourse, if the husband did not withdraw his penis from the vagina after his ejaculation, but instead, remained there for half an hour, even in an unerected state, giving his full and undisturbed attention to the contact.


They found that a sex union of half an hour's duration induced deep satisfaction for both for five days; one lasting an hour satisfied them for a week; an intercourse lasting two hours brought contentment for two weeks. This same lasting relaxation was also produced by prolonged bodily contact, without sex relaton.


Very instructive is the sex life of young girls among some South Sea Islanders. At the time of puberty she leaves her home to another hut, where she sleeps with four boys of her choice, six months with each boy. After these two years she marries the boy who has given her the greatest relaxation. These marriages lasts a lifetime without infidelity. They usually have intercourse not oftener than every five day. On other nights they sleep together, body to body without contact between the sex organs. Preparation for sex union takes at least half an hour. They embrace, kiss and bite each other, untill both are electrified. But never does a man touch the clitoris of his mate. (A matured woman should have entirely given up the sensations of the clitoris, which are characteristic of a child. After puberty these sensations are normally consentrated in the vagina.) When the sex act begins they lie motionless for at least half an hour, sometimeslonger,before they start any movements. After the climax they continue to lie together for a long time.


Their first rule is total relaxation and freedom from pressure or strain. The man does not lie over his mate and deprive her the power of movement, also to avoid stimulation of the clitoris. After the preparation when full sex union is reached no no more tender caresses is allowed. All the attention, all the electric streams have to flow fully and undisturbed to the sex organs.


On all the other nights, without sex union, they lie close together, naked body to naked body, and find themselves deeply relaxed in the morning. On these nights they do not caress or kiss each other, as that is a prelude to sexual intercourse.


Sometimes they lie with their heads at opposite ends of the sleeping mat, the two open pairs of legs fitted together like pinchers, in such a way that the sex organs come into the closest contact without penetration of the vagina. In this position they sleep together when no sexual intercourse is intended.


In karezza the only thing renounced is the ejaculation of the man. Physical union is complete, prolonged and motionless. In half an hour a sort of superlative delight sets in. It is nature rewarding one a thousandfold for supreme self control. It lasts for hours. Then the two falls asleep in a refreshing dreamless sleep. After such complete relaxation it takes time to recharge the bodies. Therefore karezza can only be practiced successfully once in one to three weeks.


The bio-electricity discharged from the cells of two bodies during the prolonged love-making and stored up in the skin, has flowed to their sex organs where the two kinds of bio-electricity, of different potentials, meet and neutralize each other. As they are neutralized the electrical tension in the two bodies cease and full relaxation sets in.


A persons happiness depends on coming in contact with an individual whose electrical radiations complement his own.; That the tension of a negatively charged man can find its outlet only through contact with an positively charged woman- one to whose wave length his wave length is attuned. In the exchange of radiation between two lovers lies a satifaction more delightful and profound than in the sex act itself.


The measurable electricity in the body reaches its greatest intensity in the genitals, but that does not mean that the amount of electricity from innumerable small sources cannot exceed that from one single stream, however strong. The author believes that these small streams can can flow directly to each other and achieve equalization by mere bodily contact. without sexual union. This exchange induces a sense of delight that endures for days rather than for two or three hours.


The more a person can relax another from the tension induced in him by the electrical streams the more that person is desired by the other and more passionate is their mutual love.


A couple had an ecstatic experience of karezza, but after 7 hours they felt suffocated. They took a shower and could continue.


If a couple's love for each other is not well founded the karezza method will not work. To learn to change from the customary sensations of ejaculation and orgasm, both of which have to entirely be prevented, to the sensations accompanying the union of the body's electrical streams, is a task suitable only for very strong and determined characters. A sexual relationship entirely devoted to karezza is unsuited to the avarage healthy man and woman. Our task here on earth is to create. The tension produced by the electrical power within us is the driving force which makes creation possible. The sexual happiness possible through karezza is the strongest proof yet to available that orgasm is not essential for sexual happiness,that the exchange of bio-electricity is more essential and can be combined with orgasm.


The reason the vagina must be moist is also because water is a good conductor of electricity.


If a woman will abandon the half satifaction of clitoris orgasm she can eventually learn the deep, mature satifaction coming from the orgasm brought about by stimulation of the vagina and the tip of the uterus. Granted, such women will go through a sexual dead period, while losing their accustomed sensation, and before gaining the right one, but a few weeks of consentration, patience and willpower, will bring an abundant reward.


Only by lying in a perfectly relaxed position as the one described can the husband hope to hold back his orgasm long enough to permit satisfaction for his wife:


Position. After the pre-liminary love-play, the partners should occupy the following position which permits perfect freedom, of movement as well as complete absence of muscular effert, and avoid stimulation of clitoris. The wife first lies on her back with her knees raised so that they touch her breasts. The husband lies on his right side to the left of her, turned towards her in such a way that his left leg lies above of his right leg. In this position he puts both of his legs under both of her thighs while his wife lets her legs fall over his left hip. In so doing he has to move the upper part of his body away from her body until he lies in right angles to her. She is still on her back lengthwise of the bed while he is still lying on his right side, but crosswise of the bed. Most couples prefer that the man places his left leg between her thighs, so forcing her right leg down on his right leg, while his right leg remains under the buttocks of his wife. Simplyfied version: The husband lies at the left side of his wife, turns to her and places his left leg between her legs so their sex organs are in closest contact.


At this point every kiss and caresses on other parts of the body should cease, in order that all the awakening bio-electrical streams may flow undisturbed towards the sex organs. In this position it does not matter if the penis is in erection or not, the important thing is that its tip should touch the mucosa of the inner lips at the vagina's entrance. After half a hour, when the full exchange of the radiation between the two individuals is established, the penis usually becomes erected and can enter the vagina. Until the man has learned to hold back his ejaculation the position outlined above should usually be maintained at least half an hour, outside the vagina. Complete sex union, in which the tip of the penis penetrates the vagina so deeply that it touches the entrance of the uturus, as it should do in perfect intercourse, then follows. This lasts usually half an hour, though this time can be lengthened to hours if the couple are motionless.


They should train themselves to be completely aware of the sensations of their sex organs and also of the flow of electricity they receive from their partner. They should not permit their thoughts to wander to other subjects and interrupt the flow to the sex organs. Every cell of the body should be relaxed. Every tension serves to block radiation. The more relaxed the cells are, the more easily can they discharge radiations.


As a rule, a well performed sex act, one in which full sex union lasts half an hour, should not be repeated more than once in five days. When sex union lasts for an hour, repetition in a week's time is indicated, when it lasts for two hours the interval should be two weeks. The batteries of the body needs to be recharged.


Too frequent intercourse forces cells in the testicles to consentrate more on the production of sperm cells than hormones. An organism without hormones has no animation or energy. In the end it leads to exhaustion, frustration and disgust with the sex act which includes resentment against the person who has aroused his desire. This is a typical picture of the end of many a passionate love affairs.


How can women attain relaxation when the natural method of natural bodily contact is denied them? Some can find outlets in their activities.To give them female hormones, as is commonly done, can may only increase the tension. The most successfull means combines a warm bath with a vaginal douche used 15 minutes while consentrating on the outflow of radiation from her body, taken every other night before retiring, after orgasm or not. Water is a conductor of energy. The woman should go straight to bed afterwards.


Findings of Wilhelm Reich:

Feelings of pleasure on any skin area are accompanied by an increase in bio-electrical chargein that area. Feelings of displeasure are accompanied (anxiety, fear, irritation) by a decrease of electrical charge. Pleasure draws the charge to the outside of the body, displeasure draws the bio-electricity back to the interior of the organism.


It seems that the bio-electrical charge aroused in the prelude of the to intercourse does not flow back into the same organism, but instead it flows between the two partners, each "neutralizes" is some way the bio-electrical charge of the other.


Over-exitement in the sex glands increases the functions of the pituatary and thyroid glands, resulting in extreme psychic irritability. Hyperfunctioning of the thyroid even leads to visual or accoustic hallucinations. Hyperfunctioning of the pituatary glands stimulates an individual to extreme activity and which sometimes leads to uncontrollable pugnacity.


If a couple will follow the essential parts of our requirements only, these are: Prolonged sex contact, (even after orgasm and ejaculation) for at least half an hour, with full consentraton on the sex act and sleep in a double bed, in close bodily contact.


Twice a week let the couple assume a locked pincher position in bed for at least an hour.


According to Dr. K. Davis, who studied the sex desire of 2000 women, maximum desire were always noted within a period of two days before to one week after menstruation.


The best method to insure animation and vitality is a well performed, regular sex life. It stimulates the production of sex hormones and relaxes the bodily tension.


Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Karezza is not normal sex without orgasm

 Karezza is a gentle, affectionate form of intercourse in which orgasm is not the goal, and ideally does not occur in either partner while making love.


During a lengthy period of perfect control, the whole being of each is merged into the other, and an exquisite exaltation experienced. This may be accompanied by a quiet motion, entirely under subordination of the will, so that the thrill of passion for either may not go beyond a pleasurable exchange. Stockham

Our emphasis is on affection, and we stay well away from the edge of orgasm. If we sense ourselves slipping into performance mode while making love, we pull ourselves back into relaxation with deeper, longer breaths. This relaxes our abdominal breathing and reverses the increase in muscular tension and the urge to restrict breathing that coincide with the buildup to orgasm.

Regular, “heat ‘em up” foreplay doesn’t work very well with Karezza
Typical foreplay is geared toward heating yourself and your partner up with orgasm as the goal. The pleasures of Karezza, however, do not rely on the rewards that come from approaching one’s own orgasm or inducing it in a lover. They depend on the rewarding feelings that come from mutual adoration and generous touch (bonding behaviors). Initially Karezza therefore feels all wrong. It seems too non-goal-oriented and relaxed. When I first explained it to my husband, he couldn’t believe his ears: “A woman who is asking me to do less?”
So, without standard foreplay, what do we do when we get in bed with each other?
It worked best to begin intercourse in a position that did not allow for much movement. Even so, it was extremely easy to escalate into good old, familiar sex as we added intercourse to our nightly affection. One strategy my husband and I now use is to make sure we put “snuggle nights” in between “intercourse nights.” Snuggle nights are useful refresher courses for our nervous systems. Even a little bit of cuddling offers a taste of relaxed satisfaction with no goal whatsoever. When we next have intercourse it is easier to stay in the tranquil mindset ideal for Karezza.
As far as actual intercourse goes, we move far more slowly than we did during conventional sex. In addition, we fall into total stillness frequently while making love. Some of the most gratifying and profound experiences occur when not moving. As a result, our lovemaking goes in waves, somewhat like breathing. Erections also come and go—and arise again when we start kissing after a pause. (Visit Karezza Korner for comments by other couples about their experiences.)It worked best to begin intercourse in a position that did not allow for much movement. Even so, it was extremely easy to escalate into good old, familiar sex as we added intercourse to our nightly affection. One strategy my husband and I now use is to make sure we put “snuggle nights” in between “intercourse nights.” Snuggle nights are useful refresher courses for our nervous systems. Even a little bit of cuddling offers a taste of relaxed satisfaction with no goal whatsoever. When we next have intercourse it is easier to stay in the tranquil mindset ideal for Karezza.
We kiss and gaze into each other’s eyes a lot. We also let each other know how loved we feel with wordless sounds of pleasure and reverent, or playful, touch—depending upon our mood. Sometimes we make a conscious effort to diffuse the sexual energy from our genitals throughout our bodies by tightening the muscles of our pelvic floor and breathing the energy up. Sometimes when we close our eyes we notice flashing lights in the third-eye region of the forehead. Sometimes we use the technique of completely relaxing our pelvic muscles, as advised by Michael and Diana Richardson.
We make love in very comfortable positions, where our weight is supported with a minimum of tension. Side-lying position, with my legs wrapped around him, is a favorite. We also sometimes fall asleep connected, which makes waking up especially enjoyable. Because we never “finish,” we’ve noticed that a flirty energy continues to flow outside the bedroom.
With Karezza you ease your sexual tension without resorting to orgasm. Dr. Lloyd wrote that Karezza leads to complete dissipation of congestion, complete discharge of nervous surplus, complete relief from sexual tension, and more complete satisfaction than orgasm.
Using Karezza’s gentle intercourse, we discovered that we can make love for as long as we need to until any sexual tension melts away entirely—as long as we don’t fall back into hungry behavior, or begin fighting ourselves by going close to the edge of orgasm. During lovemaking, the emphasis is on stillness and heart-centered feelings. If the energy begins to build into goal-oriented sensations, we simply relax back into stillness.
The feelings during these quiet periods can be especially profound, as if we have entered a timeless cocoon of delighted contentment.
I experience what I think of as a “soul orgasm.” It isn’t connected to reproductive sex in any way. It can be produced even without sex, although sex is a great way to produce it. As we gently make love, I imagine us both in a glowing ball of light. I feel as if our spirits have merged. For hours after this kind of sex session, if I think of my wife, the feeling of deep love refills me, just as if I were back in bed having sex. —Todd
Flirting with “the edge” can increase frustration, even if no one climaxes. Frustration equates with high dopamine, and when dopamine goes too high it can lead to tension, resentment, and subsequent cravings. Going too close to orgasm can also build congestion in the genitals, which may cause sharp pains.
I just couldn’t believe how effortless Karezza was. This man described it perfectly:
For a long time I’d been doing Taoist-style sex with my wife with good results—using exercises, lovemaking techniques, and energy visualizations. However, I decided to set it aside temporarily to learn more about Karezza. The first thing I noticed was that Karezza got the same results as my old Taoist practices. But Karezza required no specialized energy work. All I did was to remain nearly still while engaged in sex and breathed slow, deep breaths. I did nothing else. Anyone could do Karezza.
I soon started to sense another feeling that I didn’t recognize—a deep, satisfying feeling. I guess it was the oxytocin, the cuddle hormone. It feels like peace and love all mixed up together—a sensation of being in love with life. —Larry
Karezza works because bonding behaviors work. In fact, Karezza is itself a delicious, intimate, soothing bonding behavior. There is nothing mysterious about this, even though its effectiveness in relieving sexual tension may strike you as remarkable after you master it.
There was a warm glow in the area between our navels and pubic hairline that just demanded that we lie there together motionless to feel the gentle warmth it was radiating. This went on for twenty to thirty “timeless” minutes. Then slowly we inched toward nuzzling in the genital area. Very slowly we got to having intercourse sideways and it was amazing—lots of wetness to make it easy, and lots of control so no frenzy by either. We were both amazed and so loving in the stillness. It is a truly incredible experience. R. is delighted and feels so pleased that he didn’t feel the need to come, which has been a big concern for him. It was such a powerful, loving experience. —Gina
Sometimes Karezza is just pleasant, gentle intercourse that leaves us refreshed and more balanced. Sometimes it’s an amazing, heart-opening experience for which we can hardly find words. The outcome is not in our control. All we can do is keep our biologically driven habits out of the way, and enjoy what bubbles up. Striving is counterproductive. We focus on comforting each other, not fanning sexual hunger.Karezza’s effects are subtle and cumulative
Karezza can be a bit like watching paint dry at first—albeit with the added joys of a companion and an increasing sense of well-being. It does not produce rapid, obvious results (as, for example, a new foreplay technique might). Instead its effects are cumulative. We needed several weeks of pleasant, but patient, consistency to see why we had made the effort to try it. During that time, we experienced a growing sense of empowerment, optimism, and connectedness with others. We felt as if we were “in the flow.” Yet these changes seemed so natural (and well-deserved), that it was easy to miss the link between cause and effect.
The Karezza way doesn't require climax by either man or woman, since it emphasizes intimacy, harmony, and unity. It also takes a lot of practice to make it work right, and the couple wishing to practice Karezza should be patient. It takes time to harmonize energy fields, emotions, rhythms, and responses between two persons. Expect to practice at least a dozen times before you begin to see increasingly delightful results. —Bernard Jensen, MD

Karezza is a return to equilibrium. The energy it produces is not “edgy,” but rather lighthearted. With or without clothes, it feels more like two dolphins frolicking. We tend to laugh a lot, to find just the right times to make love, and to enjoy hugging or touching each other at other times.
You need to try Karezza for at least three weeks to be in a position to compare the benefits with conventional sex. Otherwise you may not taste what life is like beyond the ups and downs of the post-orgasmic passion cycle.
We often learn the most about Karezza from our inadvertent departures from it. We never “go for” orgasm, but it happens occasionally. It’s the perfect reminder of why we stick with this practice. During the two weeks after an orgasm, we notice a temporary dimming of good feelings, and we are always delighted when, like clockwork, we come back into sync at the end of the cycle.
You may believe that you will feel more frustrated the longer you avoid orgasm. Yet if you experiment carefully with Karezza, using lots of relaxation and generous affection, you are likely to find that this is not true.
I have experienced great feelings of well-being after non-orgasmic sex over long periods of time. The contact with the person becomes the orgasm, the sexual contact becomes the orgasm, and then there is no need for orgasm. —Mike
In our experience, there was surprisingly little inner conflict while learning Karezza, as long we took a gradual approach and remembered to wallow luxuriantly in the soothing pleasures of touch and connection. As Karezza lovers we grow more balanced and therefore more sensitive to every pleasurable nuance. Certainly, we have done a lot more giggling and enjoyed a lot more harmony.
Above all, Karezza teaches us to put each other first. See Karezza FAQs or visit Karezza Recent PostsYou can also learn more about Karezza from these two free books by A. B. Stockham, MD and J. W. Lloyd, MD. Also see Bernard Jensen MD’s suggestions for Karezza lovemaking, and this interview with Stanley Bass about his book: Energy Karezza.

I found this article I think describes karezza well: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/karezza-method